Does It Have to Suck?

I was trolling Pinterest the other night (what else is new?). And I came across this:

It stopped me in my scrolling tracks. 

I just stared at it. For longer than was probably necessary. 

I'd be a liar if I said I was ALWAYS happy to be around Stu. I'd be lying if I said that our marriage is perfect, flawless, full of absolute love and respect. 

​But still. Even with the rough times, this bothers me. 

I don't want my husband to feel this way. Perhaps it's super retro, old school, antifeminist of me to think that he should be happy to come home. My job is the house/kids/food. My job is to make the house a peaceful place.

It is my goal to make sure he feels relief when he walks in the door at night. I want him to feel 10 pounds of stress lift off him when he gets home. 

This (seemingly) antiquated way of thinking is something I struggle with. It's not always easy. Sometimes I want to punch him in the face and yell at him. Sometimes I want to scream I am tired too! Sometimes I don't want him to even walk through the door because I am so upset about something. 

But then I think what if he doesn't come home? What if he wants to leave me?

Is that possibility worth it?

For me, for my kids, for us right now, it's not. 

So I will try to make this meme fundamentally untrue for Stu.