Pushing the Reset Button

I made this image using a picture of us and added the excellent advice above it. Click on the picture to be taken to a great article. Darlene makes excellent points, applicable to all spouses.

Stu and I are in a great place right now. I don't think we have been this close in a long time. As I have mentioned, or alluded to, in previous posts, we have battled our share of stress. Stress for us has come in the form of financial troubles, outsiders thinking they are more important than they are, outsiders behaving inappropriately with my husband, and more, but those are the big ones. These stresses have caused a major riff between me and Stu.

I read somewhere that the problem in relationships is "unmet expectations." Everything else (stress, cheating, divorce, fighting, etc.) is a result of unmet expectations. I could not agree more with this. (Read this article, it's fantastic. It'll change the way you look at your problems.) And Stu and I became so disjointed we were never telling the other what our expectations were/are. The lack of communication is like adding fuel to a pile of wood. One little spark and the whole thing goes up. Then a simple problem (the little spark) is now a wildly out of control fire. 

Stu and I have been seeing a counselor for several years. It helps me to talk (or yell) about things. It helps us to talk to each other when there is a moderator. A third party was invaluable to us for a long time. We needed someone else to keep us on track in conversations. We needed someone to make sure the other was heard. 

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