We got home late the other night. Church nights do that to us. Reagan rode home with Stu, and Riley was with me. All seemed well. Stu was in our room when I got home. Reagan was chatty and getting her jammies on. I sent Riley to do the same.
I walked into the master and was immediately greeted by a freaked out husband.
Stu looked like he'd seen a ghost.
He said "I NEED TO TALK TO YOU. We had the most insane ride home... Oh the crazy 15 year old hormones."
And then laughed more.
He said "Seriously. I will be right here waiting. Go, put Riley to bed. I need to talk to you,"
Fast forward... everyone's in bed.
Stu - Ok. That was the craziest ride home.
Me - *still laughing* I know what you're talking about... I've been in the car with that girl.
Stu - So, she tells me that she has a secret. She's been keeping a secret from us. She is afraid of telling us.
Me - pulse is quickening... what in the world? My mind is racing.
Stu - She cried for almost half of the ride home. Not a little crying, like hysterical-crazy-person crying.
It boils down to this:
Reagan told Stu that she knew what sex was. And she was worried about it. She is upset because she was thinking about it "all the time." And she was not sure how to talk to us about it.
Stu was freaking.
He said he stayed (relatively) calm and asked a few probing questions. Like "what do you know about it?", "where did you here about it?".
She cried more and said she does not know what it means... she just read the word somewhere. She came across it in something she was reading, and she knows it's something. She told Stu she was thinking she would ask Grammie about it.
So, Stu and I talked a bit. I had to calm him down. I think his blood pressure was high. He was freaking out because she's only 9... neither one of us is really ready for this conversation.
I went into Rea's room. She was laying in bed. When I walked in the room, she perked up and said "You talked to Dad, didn't you?"
Then I sat on the edge of her bed. And she and I had a conversation about the word sex. I told her that sex is not a bad word. It's not even a bad thing. It's actually something that God created and designed. I realized, when I was talking to her, she kind of already knows about it... I told her it is like 'mating'. And that is not a scary thing. Then I told her that because she is only 9, Dad and I do not think it is necessary for her to really know what it is. But I assured her that I would explain it in more detail in a few years.
I told her that probably from now on, she will come across things (terms, situations, bodily changes) that she has questions about. I told her it is important that she talk to me and her dad about them. He and I are the ones that control those storylines in our house. I told her we will never be mad at her for questioning things. And we never keep secrets in our house. We will never be mad if she wants to have grown up conversations about stuff that's happening or things she has questions about. I told her we love her and we are here to help her navigate this "weird stuff."
Before I left the room, I turned and said, "Why were you going to talk to Grammie and not us?" She said, "Grammie talks me off the ledge when I am overwhelmed." I laughed.
My oldest child, Reagan, is 12, Riley is 10 and Remy is 1. Everyday is a crazy day in the life of the Stus!