So, you have a new baby who has come to join your married life, and now you are a family of 3 (or more!). There's no doubt about it, it's a beautiful thing! As time ticks on, however, you start to notice how much it begins to change your relationship with your partner. You realize that you may not snuggle as much as you used to because there's a new life who demands to be snuggled all the time! Perhaps those quick tussles in the bed together occur a little less frequently... or not at all! Adult conversations that once stimulated your mind and added richness to your relationship are far and few between! And when you do manage to get in some time to talk to one another, you notice the conversation is always about the baby! Chores seem to pile up, alone time is nonexistent, and, before you know it, your spouse becomes a stranger to you.
Hi everyone! Welcome to our 3rd blog visit on the "Trials of the Working Parent" Blog Book Tour! As you might have figured out, today's topic is all about marriage and how our children can affect the intimate relationship we have with our partner. Before we go much farther, however, I just want to say thank you to Mindy, here at The Adventures of the StuCrew for hosting me on the tour! Now let's do some honest chatting about being married... with children!
I was trolling Pinterest the other night (what else is new?). And I came across this:
It stopped me in my scrolling tracks.
I just stared at it. For longer than was probably necessary.
I'd be a liar if I said I was ALWAYS happy to be around Stu. I'd be lying if I said that our marriage is perfect, flawless, full of absolute love and respect.
But still. Even with the rough times, this bothers me.
I don't want my husband to feel this way. Perhaps it's super retro, old school, antifeminist of me to think that he should be happy to come home. My job is the house/kids/food. My job is to make the house a peaceful place.
It is my goal to make sure he feels relief when he walks in the door at night. I want him to feel 10 pounds of stress lift off him when he gets home.
This (seemingly) antiquated way of thinking is something I struggle with. It's not always easy. Sometimes I want to punch him in the face and yell at him. Sometimes I want to scream I am tired too! Sometimes I don't want him to even walk through the door because I am so upset about something.
But then I think what if he doesn't come home? What if he wants to leave me?
Is that possibility worth it?
For me, for my kids, for us right now, it's not.
So I will try to make this meme fundamentally untrue for Stu.